SPECIFIC COMMITMENTS

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Biblical Authority, christians, Disobedience, God's Word, Salvation, Sin, Truth, Word of God

 

Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself. (DANIEL 1: 8)

In addition to an overall commitment to pursue holiness in every area of life, I find it helpful to make specific commitments in areas where we’re particularly vulnerable to sin. There’s great value in identifying those areas — either in what we do (for example, gossip) or in what we fail to do (such as loving our wives as Christ loved the church) — and then making specific commitments of obedience to God in those areas.

I urge you to list any areas of temptation wherein you need to make this specific commitment. Do you need to make a covenant with your eyes about what you look at (Job 31: 1), or with your mouth about what you say, or with your mind about what you think? Is there a particular temptation or sinful practice that arises in your work environment that needs a commitment to fortify you against it? Write these commitments down on paper, for your eyes only, so you can review them and pray over them daily.

Perhaps there’s a particular area in your marriage or in your relationship with your children, your parents, a friend, or an associate at work where you aren’t demonstrating the Spirit’s fruit of love, patience, or kindness. Do you need to make a commitment that, in dependence on the Holy Spirit to enable you, you’ll seek to display that particular “fruit” toward that individual? If so, I urge you to make such a commitment. You may find the need to make several commitments — sins to put off or avoid and Christlike traits to put on. If you don’t commit yourself to the pursuit of holiness in these specific areas of your life, you’ll find a tendency to vacillate in the face of these temptations.

The Discipline of Grace, Jerry Bridges

 

 

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The Malignancy of Sin

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Biblical Authority, christians, Disobedience, eternity, God's Word, Haughty, Jesus Christ, Last Days, Salvation, Sin, Truth, YOUR Sin

Cancer! It’s a dreaded word, a word that often invokes a sense of despair and sometimes even hopelessness.

Another term for cancer is malignancy. Medically, the word malignant describes a tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally into adjoining tissue by invasion and systemically by metastasizing into other areas of the body. Left alone, a malignancy tends to infiltrate and metastasize throughout the entire body and will eventually cause death. No wonder cancer and malignant are such dreaded words.

Sin is a spiritual and moral malignancy. Left unchecked, it can spread throughout our entire inner being and contaminate every area of our lives. Even worse, it often will “metastasize” from us into the lives of other believers around us. None of us lives on a spiritual or social island. Our attitudes, words, and actions, and oftentimes even our private unspoken thoughts, tend to have an effect on those around us.

Paul must have had this concept in mind when he wrote, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4: 29). Our speech, whether it is about others or to others, tends to tear down or build up. It either corrupts the minds of our hearers, or it gives grace to them. Such is the power of our words. If I gossip, I both tear down another person and corrupt the mind of my listener. If I complain about the difficult circumstances of my life, I impugn the sovereignty and goodness of God and tempt my listener to do the same. In this way, my sin “metastasizes” into the heart of another person.

Sin, however, is much more than wrong actions, unkind words, or even those evil thoughts that we never express. Sin is a principle or moral force in our heart, our inner being. Our sinful actions, words, and thoughts are simply expressions of the principle of sin residing within us, even in those of us whose hearts have been renewed. The apostle Paul calls this principle the flesh (or sinful nature in some Bible translations). This principle, called the flesh, is such a reality that Paul sometimes personifies it (see, for example, Romans 7: 8-11; Galatians 5: 17).

Now, here is the unvarnished truth that we need to lay to heart. Even though our hearts have been renewed, even though we have been freed from the absolute dominion of sin, even though God’s Holy Spirit dwells within our bodies, this principle of sin still lurks within us and wages war against our souls. It is the failure to recognize the awful reality of this truth that provides the fertile soil in which our “respectable” or “acceptable” sins grow and flourish.

We who are believers tend to evaluate our character and conduct relative to the moral culture in which we live. Since we usually live at a higher moral standard than society at large, it is easy for us to feel good about ourselves and to assume that God feels that way also. We fail to reckon with the reality of sin still dwelling within us. One of the common truths about cancer is that it can often grow undetected until it reaches a crisis stage or even a stage that is terminal. When my wife visited her doctor on June 19, 1987, she had no idea there was a malignant tumor growing in her abdominal area. And even her capable physicians who successfully treated the tumor failed to detect that it had already metastasized into her lymph system. In fact, the word deceitful, which is a moral term, can be used to describe the way cancer often seems to operate. It seems to have been successfully treated; but unexpectedly, it reappears somewhere else in the body.

The way cancer operates is a good analogy of the way sin, especially so-called acceptable or refined sin, operates in our lives. As I mentioned in the preface, another good descriptive term is subtle sins. The word subtle has a wide variety of meanings, some positive, as in “the subtle shades of blue in a painting.” But often it has a strong negative connotation to mean wily, crafty, insidious, or treacherous. That is the sense of the word in the expression subtle sins. The acceptable sins are subtle in the sense that they deceive us into thinking they are not so bad, or not thinking of them as sins, or even worse, not even thinking about them at all! Yes, some of our refined sins are so subtle that we commit them without even thinking about them, either at the time or afterward. We often live in unconscious denial of our “acceptable” sins.

We present-day believers have, to some extent, been influenced by the “feel good about myself” philosophy of our times. By contrast, believers in the Puritan era of the seventeenth century had a different view of themselves. They feared the reality of sin still dwelling in them. I have in my library four books on sin by pastors of that era. Here are their titles:

The Sinfulness of Sin

The Mischief of Sin

The Anatomy of Secret Sins

The Evil of Evils or The Exceeding Sinfulness of Sin

These pastors all saw sin for what it actually is: a diabolical force within us. Ralph Venning, the author of The Sinfulness of Sin, uses especially colorful (in the negative sense) words to describe sin. Over the space of only a few pages, he says that sin is vile, ugly, odious, malignant, pestilent, pernicious, hideous, spiteful, poisonous, virulent, villainous, abominable, and deadly.

Take a few moments to ponder those words so as to get the full impact of them. Those words describe not just the scandalous sins of society but also the respectable sins we tolerate in our own lives. Think of such tolerated sins as impatience, pride, resentment, frustration, and self-pity. Do they seem odious and pernicious to you? They really are. To tolerate those sins in our spiritual lives is as dangerous as to tolerate cancer in our bodies. Seemingly small sins can lead to more serious ones. Lustful looks often lead to pornography addiction and perhaps even adultery. Murder often has its genesis in anger, which grows into bitterness, then to hatred, and finally the murder.

 

 

So far we’ve looked at our sin as it affects us. We’ve seen its malignant tendency in both our lives and the lives of others around us. The more important issue, however, is how our sin affects God. Someone has described sin as cosmic treason. If that seems like an overstatement, consider that the word transgression in the Bible, as seen for example in Leviticus 16: 21, actually means rebellion against authority — in this case, God’s authority. So when I gossip, I am rebelling against God. When I harbor resentful thoughts toward someone instead of forgiving him or her in my heart, I am rebelling against God.

In Isaiah 6: 1-8, the prophet Isaiah sees a vision of God in His absolute majesty. He hears angelic beings calling out, “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” (verse 3). Any Jew would have understood that the threefold repetition of the word holy is intended to convey the highest possible degree of holiness. In other words, God is said to be infinitely holy. But what does it mean to say that God is infinitely holy? Certainly it speaks of His absolute moral purity, but it means much more than that. Primarily, the word holy, when used of God, speaks of His infinite, transcendent majesty. It speaks of His sovereign reign over all His creation. Therefore, when we sin, when we violate the law of God in any way, be it ever so small in our eyes, we rebel against the sovereign authority and transcendent majesty of God. To put it bluntly, our sin is an assault on the majesty and sovereign rule of God. It is indeed cosmic treason.

 

 

(Let’s take David’s sin with Bathsheba and his subsequent murder of her husband Uriah for example…)

When God sent Nathan the prophet to confront David about his sin. Here are Nathan’s words:

Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife. (2 Samuel 12: 9-10, emphasis added)

Note the use of the word despised in both verses 9 and 10. In the first instance David despises the word (the law) of the Lord. In the second instance, God, speaking through Nathan, says, “You have despised me.” We see from this that sin is a despising of the law of God. But we also see that to despise God’s law is to despise Him. Now, it is easy for us to think that David’s sin truly was grievous and fail to grasp the application of Nathan’s words to ourselves. But as we have already seen, all sin, whether large or small in our eyes, is against God. Therefore, when I indulge in any of the so-called acceptable sins, I am not only despising God’s law but, at the same time, I am despising God Himself. Think about that the next time you are tempted to speak critical or unkind words about someone.

 

 

We’re not through yet. There’s still more bad news. In the context of exposing sin in our relationships with one another (see Ephesians 4: 25-32), Paul says, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (verse 30). When we think of our sin as rebellion against God’s sovereign authority and a despising of both His law and His person, we are viewing God in His rightful role as our ruler and judge. But when we see our sin as grieving the Holy Spirit — that is, as grieving God — we are viewing God as our redeemer and Father. Our sin grieves our heavenly Father. Whether we are unkind to someone else or unforgiving when someone is unkind to us, we grieve our Father’s heart.

Not only do we grieve our heavenly Father with our sin, we also presume on His grace. Paul wrote that God has forgiven us our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace (see Ephesians 1: 7). Now, that is a blessed truth, but sin, in its subtle deceitfulness, will suggest to us that our unkind words and resentful thoughts don’t matter because God has forgiven them. Forgiveness, however, does not mean overlooking or tolerating our sin. God never does that. Instead, God always judges sin. But in our case (that is, the case of all who trust in Jesus as their Savior), God has judged our sin in the person of His Son. As the prophet Isaiah wrote, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all” (Isaiah 53: 6). Shall we presume on God’s grace by tolerating in ourselves the very sin that nailed Christ to the cross?

Next consider that every sinful thought and word and deed we do is done in the presence of God. David wrote,

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue,  behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. (Psalm 139: 1-4)

God knows our every thought; He hears our words before we even speak them and sees our every deed. He even searches our motives, for Paul wrote that when the Lord comes, He “will disclose the purposes [motives] of the heart” (1 Corinthians 4: 5).

This means that all of our rebellion, all of our despising of God and His law, all of our grieving His Holy Spirit, all of our presuming on His grace, all of our sin, is done openly in the very presence of God. It’s as if we are acting out all of our sin before Him as He sits on His royal throne.

It does not matter whether our sin is scandalous or respectable, all our sin is sinful, only sinful, and altogether sinful. Whether it is large or small in our eyes, it is heinous in the sight of God. God forgives our sin because of the shed blood of Christ, but He does not tolerate it. Instead, every sin that we commit, even the subtle sin that we don’t even think about, was laid upon Christ as He bore the curse of God in our place.

 

And herein lies chiefly the malignancy of sin. Christ suffered because of our sins. That, then, is the bad news about our sin, and, as you can see, it is really, really bad. How do you respond? Will you deflect it onto other people whom you see to be sinners? Do you find yourself wishing that a certain other person would read this? Or does this view of our sin cause you to want to fall on your knees before God in repentance and contrition over the sins you have tolerated in your life?

~Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins

 

 

 

I Shall Not Be Moved

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Abomination, Biblical Authority, christians, eternity, God's Word, Jesus Christ, Last Days, Preaching, Salvation, Sin, Truth, Word of God

I had decided to make the move to Blogger as a result of this “rainbow” stupidity. However, in giving it much thought, I am staying. Here’s why…You see my issue was that it was imposed. And it was, on Christians who stand for the truth that God created marriage, defines it as one man and one woman, and has given it as an example of Christ and the Church. No one can change that truth and no stupid hijacking of His rainbow can ever change the truth of either God’s covenant rainbow OR His creation of marriage. Nothing ever changes truth. Nothing. (Did you know they are not the first to do it? New Agers did it back in the 60’s and 70’s and the homosexual agenda stole it from them. Who got their britches in an uproar when the proponents of New Age Gnosticism used it? Anyone? Hello??)

So I am rescinding my move. I have decided to stay right where I am. If their agenda is to cause us to leave, it won’t work with this sister. They shall either have to censor my posts or delete my account. This girl shall not be moved.

And so I will still continue to post the truth of God’s word at WordPress, because some stupid rainbow cannot cause me to flee like a little girl with a garden snake being thrust at her….Perhaps some of those lost will read some biblical truth and be saved. Perhaps not. But either way, may God be glorified and may I be found still standing regardless of what wicked people do or do not do. The truth is, it is all about HIM, not about WordPress, the depraved, or anything else. And having a hissy fit about the lost doing what the lost does only serves to make it be about something else. For the one hissying, it is about them, and secondary, it brings too much attention to wickedness when we ought to be speaking truth of God instead. And for the record, God calls homosexuality an abomination, and so do I. And they still need to be saved through the biblical Christ. So keep speaking the truth of it, and never compromise one lost soul for anything or anyone. THAT is biblical love.

 

The Stain of Sin

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Biblical Authority, eternity, false converts, False Gospel, false-prophets, God's Word, Knowledge, Last Days, Solid Scripture, Truth, Word of God

Like Lazarus’s grave clothes, believers still bear the stench of their former, sinful lives. Through His work of sanctification, the Holy Spirit limits the effect and influence of the sinful flesh we still carry around. But what about professing believers who refuse to deal with the remains of their depravity? Does God intend for His grace to cover our ongoing, unrepentant sin?

by Jeremiah Johnson

In the apostle John’s account of the Lord miraculously raising Lazarus from the dead, there’s a short statement that never fails to make church kids smirk. Always with an eye for practicality and propriety, Lazarus’s sister Martha urgently warned Christ, “Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days” (John 11:39 KJV).

As we’ve already seen in this series, Lazarus’s resurrection is a vivid depiction of God’s work of salvation in the believer’s life. And even in his revived state, Lazarus—still draped in his foul grave clothes—bears a distinct similarity to the believer’s new life in Christ. As John MacArthur explains,

The story of Lazarus offers a particularly graphic illustration of our predicament as believers. We have been raised to walk in newness of life (Romans 6:4). We “joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man” (Romans 7:22). Yet we cannot do what we desire (Galatians 5:17). “The wishing is present in [us], but the doing of the good is not” (Romans 7:18). We are held prisoner by the remnants of the very fallenness from which we have been redeemed (Romans 7:22). It is as if we were still bound in our grave clothes. . . .

There is, however, an important difference between our situation and the raising of Lazarus. His mummy suit came off immediately. It was merely a linen shroud. Fortunately, the corruption of death—such as the awful stench Martha feared—did not follow Lazarus forth from the grave.

Our predicament, however, cannot be resolved so quickly. It is not just a linen shroud that fastens itself to us, but a full-fledged carcass—Paul calls it “the body of this death” (Romans 7:24). It is the fleshly sin-principle that casts its pall over our glorious new lives throughout our earthly pilgrimage. It befouls our spiritual atmosphere, surrounding us with the fetid stink of sin. It no longer can dominate us like a ruthless tyrant, but it will plague us with temptation, torment, and grief until we are finally glorified.^[1]

Even though we’ve been transformed through Christ’s redeeming work, we still bear the stains of our sinful past. Last time we considered how the Lord, through the Holy Spirit’s work of sanctification, diminishes the effect and influence of our sinful past.

But not all professing believers willingly submit to the refining work of sanctification. In fact, many reject the predicament altogether, instead adopting a cavalier attitude toward their sin and eschewing any rebuke or condemnation for it.

In past generations, defending that position usually meant invoking the idea of “carnal” Christians. Based on a misunderstanding of Paul’s rebuke in 1 Corinthians 2 and 3, many Christians have been led to believe that there are two classes of Christians—carnal and spiritual. Spiritual Christians display the evidence of their status through their godliness—righteous living and mature faith. On the other hand, carnal Christians make professions of faith, but remained mired in the sin and corruption of the world.

Today a similar idea is rapidly growing in popularity. When it comes to dealing with lingering sin in a believer’s life, the trendy solution is not to preach repentance and discipline, but to focus exclusively on the grace of God. Rather than dealing biblically with their sin—“Hacking Agag to Pieces”—they argue that salvation releases us from any expectation of obedience to God’s law, and that God’s grace dissolves guilt and defuses conviction of sin in the believer’s life. It’s not the guilt of our sin, they argue, but the striving for righteousness that leads so many believers to spiritual frustration and despair. In fact, they try to shame other believers out of their pursuit of holiness by mislabeling it as works righteousness, that is, works done to earn God’s favor.

In his book, The Vanishing Conscience, John MacArthur warns against twisting God’s grace into an excuse.

God’s grace does not mean holiness is optional. There have always been people who abuse God’s grace by assuming it grants leeway for sin. Paraphrasing that philosophy, Paul writes, “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace might increase?” (Romans 6:1). If grace abounds most where sin is worst (Romans 5:20‑21), then doesn’t our sin only magnify the grace of God? Should we continue in sin so that God’s grace can be magnified?

“May it never be!” Paul answers in a phrase so emphatic that the King James Version renders it “God forbid!” The notion that anyone would use such an argument to condone sin was clearly offensive to Paul. “How shall we who died to sin still live in it?” (Romans 6:3).^[2]

Sadly, this corruption of God’s grace isn’t restricted to the fringes of the church. It’s coming from some of the most popular speakers and authors in the evangelical movement today. And it’s a threat to the spiritual growth and godliness of the countless men and women caught up in its deception.

https://www.gty.org/Blog/B150612

FIRMNESS IN TEMPTATION

Tags

Flesh, Man's Own Heart, Preferred SINS, Resist, Salvation, Solid Scripture, Truth

 

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” “Jesus said to him — Away from Me, Satan!” — Matthew 4:10 There is a dreadful intensity of meaning in the words, as applied to Jesus, “He suffered, being tempted!” Though incapable of sin — there was, in the refined sensibilities of His holy nature, that which made temptation unspeakably appalling. What must it have been to confront the Arch-traitor? — to stand face to face with the foe of His throne, and His universe? But the “prince of this world” came, and found “nothing in Him.” Billow after billow of Satanic violence spent their fury, in vain, on the Living Rock!

Reader! you have still the same malignant enemy to contend with; assailing you in a thousand insidious forms; astonishingly adapting his assaults to your circumstances, your temperament, your mental bent, your master passion! There is no place, where “Satan’s seat” is not; The whole world lies in the Wicked one. — (1 John 5:19) He has his whispers for the ear of childhood; hoary age is not inaccessible to his wiles. “All this will I give you” — is still his bribe to deny Jesus and to “mind earthly things.” He will meet you in the crowd; he will follow you to the solitude; his is a sleepless vigilance!

Are you bold in repelling him as your Master was? Are you ready with the retort to every foul suggestion, “Away from me, Satan!” Cultivate a tender sensitiveness about sin. The finest barometers are the most sensitive.

Whatever your besetting frailty is — whatever bitter or baleful passion you are conscious aspires to the mastery — watch it, crucify it, Nail it to your Lord’s cross! You may despise “the day of small things” — the Great Adversary does not. He knows the power of littles — that little by little consumes and eats out the vigor of the soul. And once the downwards movement in the spiritual life begins — who can predict where it may end? — the going on “from weakness to weakness,” instead of “from strength to strength.” Make no compromises; never join in the ungodly amusement, or venture on the questionable path, with the plea, “It does me no harm.” The Israelites, on entering Canaan, instead of obeying the Divine injunction of extirpating their enemies, made a hollow truce with them. — What was the result? Years upon years of tedious warfare. “They were scourges in their sides and thorns in their eyes!” It is quaintly — but truthfully said by an old writer, “Sin indulged, in the conscience, is like Jonah in the ship, which causes such a tempest, that the conscience is like a troubled sea, whose waters cannot rest.” — (Thomas Brooks)

“Keep,” then, “your heart with all diligence,” or, (as it is in the forcible original Hebrew,) “keep your heart above all keeping, for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). Let this ever be our preservative against temptation, “How would Jesus have acted here? Would He not have recoiled, like the sensitive plant, from the remotest contact with sin? Can I think of dishonoring Him by tampering with His enemy — incurring from His own lips the bitter reflection of injured love — ‘I am wounded in the house of My friends!'”

He tells us the secret of our preservation and safety, “Simon! Simon! Satan has desired to have you, that he might sift you as wheat; but I have prayed for you — that your faith fail not!” “Arm yourselves likewise with the same mind.”~MacDuff, John

 

I Corinthians 10:12-13….12Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.13No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

James 4:7-9….7Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.… 9Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.…

James 1: 13-15…..13Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. 14But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.15Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.…

Embracing the Dagger

Tags

christians, eternity, God's Word, obedience, Only Son of God, Salvation, Truth, Word of God

“Oh sirs, if I had a dear brother who had been murdered, what would you think of me if I valued the knife which had been crimsoned with his blood? — if I made a friend of the murderer, and daily consorted with the assassin, who drove the dagger into my brother’s heart? Surely I, too, must be an accomplice in the crime! Sin murdered Christ; will you be a friend to it? Sin pierced the heart of the Incarnate God; can you love it? Oh, that there was an abyss as deep as Christ’s misery, that I might at once hurl this dagger of sin into its depths, whence it might never be brought to light again! Begone, O sin!” (C. H. Spurgeon.)

Should your wife be your accountability partner?

Tags

Biblical Authority, christians, eternity, God's way of Accountability, God's Word, Truth

Wow! Here’s a breath of refreshing air! That’s TWO godly men I have seen recently say what is true! How great to see a man actually speak the truth, not what is “popular” at the nudging of the world in the absolutely wrong direction! Contrary to the world’s pet instruction and opinion (and yes, I also mean the worldly church), God has given men THE accountability partner. Now, men can talk with other men, there’s nothing wrong with that. But never to the exclusion of or BEFORE they talk with the one God has given them to be in a lifelong accountability relationship with…their wives. Men…time to man up and live God’s word. And tell your buddies and your pastor….”I’ll get back to you after I talk with my wife”. The only thing stopping you is most likely the sin you do not want to give up. Compound sin, embraced, will only get you so far. But never all the way to heaven and the company of the Lord for eternity.~AMG

When it comes to porn use, there are some who argue that men don’t need help to escape sexual temptation and porn addiction.

They argue that through the strength of the human will, men are able to think about the women around them at all times with nothing but purity, integrity, and sexual neutrality.

Almost as if porn use and sexual addiction is an uncommon thing; something done only by the rare creep who can’t control himself, living on the fringe of society in his mother’s basement; not something common to mankind.

But for those of us who know better, we know that sexual temptation is commonplace, and that it’s an expectable phenomenon due to our fallen and sinful human natures… and we know we need help. We need someone, a partner, to hold us accountable for our activities.

But who can help? The great debate: who makes for the best accountability partner?

Should your wife be your accountability partner? Should your pastor be your accountability partner? Should your friend be your accountability partner?

You have a lot of choices, so let’s examine the options.

Your male friend should not be your accountability partner.

Let’s start in reverse order; with your male friend. It’s extremely likely that your male friend watches porn, or has been addicted to porn in the past.

That’s a problem. Why?

Because he is able to relate to your struggles. When you tell him about your failures, he is reminded of his own. He is unable to judge your actions from a perspective that is completely pure and innocent.

You’ll get the reaffirming hand on the shoulder. The “I understand brother” reassurance. Reassurance, that no matter how much you fail, sexual temptation is just a fact of life that all men will perpetually deal with.

You’ll be reassured that your porn use is something common to man, that it doesn’t necessarily make you a failure, just a man.

That may not be what your friend is trying to convey, and it may not necessarily be true, but it is often a side effect of having male accountability partners.

Sure you’ll likely be pointed towards redemption in Christ and told that there is freedom in Him, but I ask you…

How long have you been using male accountability partners? And has it truly been effective in breaking your addictions? Or do you go back week after week to an accountability group of brothers in Christ, only to report that you had yet another “shortcoming”?

Your pastor is a step up, but still not the best accountability partner.

Why is your pastor a step up from a male friend? Probably because he is [hopefully] cleaner and even more steadfast than you and the average layperson in the church.

As a pastor, he has an obligation to lead the church by example. Hopefully that means that he is leading a pure life, and hopefully too that means that he knows the best guidance to give when it comes to your struggles.

BUT, as a man, your pastor is still just a man; a man who most likely has struggled with porn use himself in the past, and perhaps still struggles with porn use in the present.

(According to Covenant Eyes, 51% of pastors say that porn use is a “possible temptation”)

A couple of years ago, while I was using accountability software for internet use, my pastor received an internet usage report every two weeks.

One thing that came to light was that as a man, when my pastor saw the websites I was visiting, and the content I was looking at, he fell a few times himself, and explored what I had been viewing.

Pastors aren’t above porn use, and your struggles might cause even the best of them to stumble, especially if they’re receiving online accountability reports with detailed site descriptions or search terms.

Pastors are just men after all. They are just a [hopefully] more spiritual version of your male friends. Men should not be your accountability partners, unless they’re willing to take drastic actions with you; like taking your computer’s plug in cord, or fasting with you for weeks.

But since neither party is normally willing to do things like that, let’s examine a highly effective solution that might help you as well as it has helped me.

Should your wife be your accountability partner? Absolutely Yes!

What is the major thing that distinguishes your wife from your male friends and your pastor(s)? She’s a she; she’s a woman. And as a woman, her accountability is going to be dramatically different than that of a male.

How so?

Well for one, she’s likely never been addicted to pornography.

(Again, according to Covenant Eyes, men are 543% more likely to look at porn than women.)

Has your wife likely struggled with sexual temptation at some point? Yes, but we know that when it comes to sexual temptation, women are dramatically different than men.

Perhaps that’s why Jesus was talking specifically to men when he said in Matthew 5:28: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

When you confess your sexual sins and porn use to your wife, you’re telling someone who, when it comes to porn, is [hopefully] completely pure: innocent and unable to understand and relate to your problem.

In essence, your wife should be your accountability partner, because it’s as if pure and innocent light is shining upon the darkness of sin. She is able to judge you and condemn your sins in a way that your male friends can not.

With your wife, it’s like light judging darkness. With your male friends or pastor, it’s more like darkness judging darkness.

Secondly, aside from God, your wife is the primary person your sinning against. When you confess your sexual sins to your male friends or pastor(s), your confessing to them sins that you ultimately committed against an absent party, your wife.

When you confess to your wife, you’re exposing your sins to the very person you’ve been sinning against. And that’s going to cause deep pain in that individual.

The pain and sorrow in your wife’s eyes during a moment of confession may be the perfect antidote to your sexual sin; at least it has been for me, and many others.

In fact, the two fold condemnation of light judging darkness and personal grievance, has been enough to cripple the effects of porn in my life. So much so that I actually seek it out and have instituted it in the marriage.

After the original confession of porn use to my wife a few months into our marriage, I loved the devastation it wrought on my secrets so much, that I encouraged my wife to ask me regularly if I have been looking at porn.

Regular and loving (not nagging) inquisition from my wife has been the perfect accountability to keep me from looking at porn sites.

It’s very difficult to look at porn sites when you know that your wife is going to ask you in a few days time if you have failed.

For those who want their wives to be their accountability partners and are very addicted to porn, make sure your wife asks you every day or two. For those who are doing better, encourage her to ask you at least every week or two, and watch the chains of porn’s bondage fall off before your very eyes.

Should your wife be your accountability partner? I know my wife should be my accountability partner, and she is, and it’s been wonderful. God bless, and let ChristianManliness.com know how it goes.”

http://www.christianmanliness.com/wife-accountability-partner-man/

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For the Rebellious Stonewaller

Tags

Abomination, Biblical Authority, Death, Disobedience, eternity, false converts, Haughty, Prideful rebellion, Sin, Truth, Word of God

Ladies…this is what your husband is biblically commanded to do….no matter what anyone else promotes or condones. THIS. Any man who calls himself a Christian will do this. It is what Christians DO. If he does not, if he turns instead to other guys, groups, anyone else, he is living in willful disobedience. And no one who is of Christ makes a practice of sinning. Disobedience is as the sin of witchcraft….what kind of Christian practices witchcraft?? This would be man who wants to live in isolation, as a single man, and who probably uses those he talks with in a dishonest manner to shore up his own deceived heart in thinking he is somehow saved, and works hard to keep everyone from talking to one another, as what he says he does not want you to know about. Which means he is hiding his sin from you (very bad thing to be doing) as well as probably using you as an excuse for the obfuscated sins he will cop to. The safe ones. The ones he probably has been using as a crutch while “sincerely” wanting to rid himself of them. Bottom line…he is lying somewhere and using you as an excuse and a cover instead of taking full responsibility for his sin and to eradicate it. Awkward.

Now…ladies, if you are not adhering to this as well…and I realize it is not a safe thing to be doing with men who are sociopathic or who lie to cover their sin, or who have abandoned the marriage or who are choosing to live chronically single(as delineated above) …..but if God says it, we must do it regardless and leave the consequences to HIM to deal with. I doubt that any good will come of you sharing that your struggle is with your sin loving husband, so maybe stick to personal growth in Christ things. And if your husband is as mine is and too many times takes what you say about your struggles or your own insights and uses it for his own “insights” when he is talking to people who are not you but should be…(yes, honey…you)….let him. If he is so dull of mind and heart that he cannot see his own, again….God will deal with him in that one way or the other. Either now, or when he meets Him face to face. We cannot live playing the second guess game, it’s insane….so  just LIVE, and live freely in Christ, doing as He says, and leaving everyone else to Him to deal justly with. He WILL reward all you know. Make sure yours is a crown. Your husband…that’s his problem to work out. Who knows, Maybe your husband will tell you he doesn’t want to know. If he’s a schmuck that is an easy thing to submit to, right? 😉

And if your husband or wife is a truly godly person, this probably is not for you except to remind you that your obedience of God’s word will be rewarded well. Keep on doing what you have been, obeying the word, being accountable to Him and to your spouse first, and growing in Christ-likeness and in closeness to the one God has given you to cherish and to help you grow. And know how blessed you truly are in that! God be praised!

 

“When you’ve sinned against your spouse, is it important to bring all that out into the open? Isn’t it enough that we were broken before God? Why take my husband/wife through all that pain?

What should you tell your wife (or your husband) about the struggle you’re having? Anything? 

Faithfulness in marriage cuts both directions but for the Christian, the Bible lays the greater responsibility on the husband who is supposed to be leading his family as their spiritual head and loving his wife as Christ loved the Church, so that’s who’s under the limelight, here.

Like clockwork, at the annual men’s retreat the topic of lust will inevitably come up, along with strategies for taming the monster. Before long, the speaker is advocating“getting real” with your “accountability partners” – that group of a few guys to whom you tell all.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with getting together with your buddies and confessing which pigpen you’ve been wallowing around in. And it is a little uncomfortable to talk openly and pray with the guys for victory over the various ways you’ve been committing adultery.

Hey, wait a minute . . . I’m not an adulterer!

Really? According to whom?

Jesus said that merely looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery. So even if we’ve kept the sin discreetly inside our minds, looked at magazines when nobody’s looking, or erased the porn history on our computers, its adultery by God’s definition – you know, the one that matters.

Time to get the accountability group together . . . I can tell them but I definitely can’t tell my wife. It would really hurt her and I want to spare her the pain.

Every married man understands this logic. When we’ve sinned sexually against her, our wife is the last person on earth we want to talk to about it.

Question: Is it really because we want to spare her the pain or spare ourselves the shame?

There’s something too easy in telling only the guys – all of whom struggle or have struggled with sexual sin. There’s a safe comfort in the fellowship of failure. It’s a no-risk proposition. After all, you’re confessing your sin (against another person who isn’t present) to a group of guys who have pledged that no matter what you’ve done you will never be rejected and nothing, absolutely nothing, of what gets said will violate the gag-order you’ve all agreed to.

That’s not what Jesus did.

He became sin in front of the very person against whom the sins (our sins) were committed: God. And, Jesus bore the shame and the pain of God turning his face from him. He was physically tortured, bleeding, and shamed – hanging off nails, buck-naked for everyone to see.

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? 

Jesus didn’t hide from shame. Neither should we.

 Your wife is the accountability partner God provided for you.

And, wives, your husband is the accountability partner God provided for you.

According to Him, the two of you are one single entity (the two shall become one) and your bodies belong to each other, made crystal clear by 1 Cor. 7:4.

A lot can happen when we don’t hide our sin from our wife – when we confess and ask for forgiveness. She will be hurt. She might even reject you. Sin brings shame, pain, and consequences.

But, there’s something that happens when we’ve borne the shame of our sin before our wife. What once had a hammerlock on our conscience begins to lose its grip.

Confess to your wife and drag Sin, kicking and screaming, into the light where you can get a good look at what a powerless wimp it really is.

I can’t believe I gave into to that!

You did, but you didn’t have to. For the Christian, sin has no power except the power we give it – Romans 6:12.(Click Here to read about how sin’s power in your life has been broken)

So, step into the light with your real accountability partner. Tell her (or him!) you don’t want to just say you are one but to live that way from now on.

Circumstances will vary and applying this principle will not look the same in every marriage but for most, this is how God would have men and women deal with the sin they’ve committed against each other – even the most shameful kind.

When we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

God bless you as you walk in the true oneness of unity.

~Matthew

http://matthewljacobson.com/2015/02/23/your-husbandwife-is-your-accountability-partner/

Pride

Tags

God's Word, Haughty, Pride is from the Devil, Salvation, Sin, Trapped in Pride for Eternity, Truth

I think that this is such a great gospel tract that I am posting a “commercial” for it….

The world defines “pride” as: “a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.” Yet the Word of God says a person’s pride is followed by disgrace (Prov. 11:2); pride is arrogance (Prov. 21:24); pride will bring a person low (Prov. 29:23). The Word of God says pride is something evil that comes from a person’s heart (Mark 7:21-23), and that God is opposed to prideful people (James 4:6). God sees pride the same way He sees so many other behaviors—as sinful (2 Tim. 3:1-4). God sees pride as evil because it is contrary to who He is. Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, humbled Himself to take on human flesh and then humbled Himself even further when He sacrificed His life in the most humiliating way—death on a cross.  What awaits prideful people? What comes after pride? Destruction (Prov. 16:18)—God’s judgment of sin, the punishment for which is eternity in hell. Your only hope is to turn from your sinful pride, turn toward God and, by faith alone, receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Jesus Christ—fully God and fully man, yet without sin, voluntarily shed his innocent blood and died on the cross, taking upon Himself the punishment you rightly deserve for your sins against God. Three days later, He forever defeated sin and death when He rose from the grave. Yes, God is opposed to the proud, but He gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Humble yourself. Repent and believe the gospel, today.

http://www.YouGotOurTract.com

http://www.shop.onemilliontracts.com/Pride-Gospel-Tract-50ct-25×35-TM-010.htm

 

Pretty great huh? Hard bottom line truth. So when you continue to “confess” pride and do not a thing about killing it but instead seek to either cover it up by appearing “humble” or you seek to put on a nice guy face to make others think more highly of you than they ought (like you think more highly of yourself than you ought by doing that and proving that you are nothing BUT pride), you gotta know…you have never turned to anyone but yourself. Because you are too prideful to truly submit to the truth of the word of God. God is not fooled. And no doubt the people who are close to you in your “real” life are not either. And if pride goeth before a fall, great indeed will that eventual fall be. And even your pride shall not be able to cover it up. If you REALLY look at your slimy sinful wicked self, what in the world do you have to be prideful of? How much you spit at God, the One who created you and who is perfect, holy, righteous and just? The One who sacrificed His Son because it is the only way prideful self serving people like yourself could EVER be forgiven and granted His presence? Think about that. Think about all the sinful things you continue to indulge in, to embrace, to refuse to give up, and that is AGAINST God in their very essence. If you are prideful, there you will find every kind of wickedness imaginable. Ongoing rampant pride belies any biblical repentance at all. In fact it indicates exactly the opposite. So how often, how many years have you leaned on the crutch of pretending to yourself that you are sad about your pride when it is pride that makes all your decisions for you, every stinkin’ choice you make about anything? That is nothing short of worldliness dressed in psuedo Christian sheep skin, with a wolf hiding underneath. Repent…and throw yourself upon the mercy of God, and let Him really humble you as you seek to honor HIM through obeying HIM, instead of you and how you look to others. In truth, you look only like a fool. One who is still destined for eternal damnation. Am I talking to you? Yes. Repent and be saved.

http://www.areyouagoodperson.org/

Genuine Repentance Charles Spurgeon

Tags

Biblical Authority, Disobedience, God's Word, Hell, Jesus Christ, Truth

We who have been twice born of God know what it is and what it looks like. We also know when it is not truly present in professors. Many, okay all false professors have no idea of either. Maybe this will give them a clue to their actual standing before God. Maybe not. Either way, God will deal rightly with them. And that’s good enough for me.

 

Genuine Repentance Charles Spurgeon.