“One of the most deeply harmful things pornography does, therefore, is reinforce the false lesson that sexual excitement is not about a whole-person union at all. Instead, sexual excitement becomes associated with isolation from others and a focus on self. That which is suppose to be about sharing becomes all about getting.”~ Tim Challies
Sex is for a man and a woman only. For both- not one. Pornography and the like is selfish and destroys God’s design for marriage.
The marriage bed is to be PURE. This applies to sharing videos of your sexual activities and watching people do these activities. ~ Esther Gensler ~
Do you honor your marriage bed? Do you honor God in how you honor your marriage bed? Really? Do you live by His word? Do you obey Him? Or do you obey your flesh? What is your idol? How’s your marriage? What would your wife say? A wife left deserted for slavery to your own flesh, is not a wife with a Christian husband. Nor do you have a marriage. Especially not a marriage as designed by God. Now, it doesn’t have to be porn. It can be the internet and that draw that you cannot ignore or simply not go to. Or it can be sexual in nature, and usually is….It can be masturbation with your own “mind porn”. That would be what Challies is rightly also describing. All sexual sin involves the mind in one way or the other. Where is your mind? Is it on Jesus? Is it on living in obedience to Him? Well, if you are living in relational isolation, if you are forcing your wife to live life alone because you are disengaged, isolated, and self involved to the exclusion of her or really anyone else (or spouse, as women do this as well, although not nearly as many women are involved in this sin as men are) then you are living outside of God’s commands to Christians and most pointedly to husbands. And you are soiling the marriage bed that you are suppose to keep PURE. So truthfully, your isolation objectively proves that your mind is NOT on the word, nor on Christ, and your life is one of disobedience. And as He says in regard to unbelievers…unregenerates…”those who are disobedient to the word….”(I Peter 3:1, II Peter 2:8, Ephesians 5:6…), you are headed for eternal Hell unless you humble yourself and throw yourself on His mercy for redemption. But usually, what is being referred to above is part and parcel with sexual sin of some kind. No way around that. Isolation like that only comes from sin. And that usually sexual in nature. Think you can hide or deny it? Your life shows it too clearly to be able to effectively do either. You are only fooling the fool…you. You live in constant deception. I ask you, who is the father of that? God?
If you are not a slave of Christ, you are a slave to what will kill you. You are a slave of the devil if you want the truth. Even if you don’t want the truth. You still are anyway because God’s word makes that truth extremely clear. In God’s eyes, you are an adulterer…to Him. Let alone to your spouse. And you are answerable to BOTH. One you will answer to on that great and terrible day. And no fantasy will help in Hell. He will let you eat the fruit of your own fancies. What a huge price to pay for your pride and love of self in your sin. Foolish. Especially when Christ could pay that for you if you would but surrender it all to Him in tears and repentance and truth. Only fools try to have both their sin and “Jesus”. I cannot suggest strongly enough that you humble yourself, go to your wife and God, confess your sins, all of them, embarrassing as it may be for you it is the first step to freedom and genuine humility and demonstrates your REALLY wanting to live for Christ within your marriage, and just may be your first real act of obedience to the word…and asking for forgiveness and then STOP SINNING like that….you can only do it in the power of Christ as a new creation. Anything less and you will fail every time, and you will destroy what God has given to you to protect and represent HIM in…and we all know what happens to the Destroyer, don’t we? And there is no one to blame for that but you. Men….God puts it all on YOU. His marriage, His way. Just like His offer of salvation. HIS way.
22 “How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning,
And fools hate knowledge.
23 Turn at my rebuke;
Surely I will pour out my spirit on you;
I will make my words known to you.
24 Because I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,
25 Because you disdained all my counsel,
And would have none of my rebuke,
26 I also will laugh at your calamity;
I will mock when your terror comes,
27 When your terror comes like a storm,
And your destruction comes like a whirlwind,
When distress and anguish come upon you.
28 “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.
29 Because they hated knowledge
And did not choose the fear of the Lord,
30 They would have none of my counsel
And despised my every rebuke.
31 Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,
And be filled to the full with their own fancies.
32 For the turning away of the simple will slay them,
And the complacency of fools will destroy them;
33 But whoever listens to me will dwell safely,
And will be secure, without fear of evil.”
Living like this you are God’s enemy, not His child, and the only prayer that God will listen to is one of humble and genuine repentance and surrender to the biblical Christ as LORD. Anything less, you may as well talk to a plant.