Combining two great posts from a brother who refreshingly walks his talk. And has a happy and blessed wife to prove it. 🙂
GODLY HUSBAND BY MATT WAYMEYER
The Christ-like Love of a Godly Husband By Matt Waymeyer
Community Bible Church
The word crisis is like the word awesome—it has been overused to the point where it’s begun to lose its meaning. And yet even recognizing this, I do not hesitate to say that we are facing a crisis in the church today in the area of male leadership in the home. In the minds of many, being a Christian husband and father consists of little more than bringing home a paycheck and making sure the family is in church on Sunday. Christian men throughout the Body of Christ struggle with laziness. We struggle with selfishness. We struggle with passivity. We struggle with failing to make our families the priority they ought to be. Many times we come home from work feeling tired, and we would rather relax and put our minds on cruise control than do what it takes to be an effective spiritual leader in the home. This kind of unfaithfulness to one’s family begins with unfaithfulness to one’s wife. I don’t mean cheating on her with another woman—I mean failing to love her as Christ loved the church.
This is the emphasis we see in Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians 5:25-32:
(25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (26) so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, (27) that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. (28) So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; (29) for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, (30) because we are
members of His body. (31) For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (32) This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Spiritual leadership begins with a husband’s relationship with his wife, because this relationship is central to everything that takes place in the home.
Here in Ephesians 5 we find that this relationship is to be characterized first and foremost by love. In fact, Paul uses the word love five times in this passage, and in Ephesians 5:33, where Paul sums up his exhortations to husbands and wives, he tells the husbands to love their wives. Being a godly
husband is all about loving your wife in the way that Christ loves the church. One of our struggles is that sometimes it can be difficult to block out the world’s definition of love. According to our culture, love is romance and emotion. And while God is not opposed to either—in fact, many of us would do well to include a little more of both— Scripture teaches that love is not based on romantic feelings. Love cannot be enhanced by candlelight and fine wine. And love is not something you fall in and out of. True love is an act of your will. As Lou Priolo writes: “Love is something you do more than something you feel. It involves motion more than it does fleeting emotion.” If this is true, what exactly does love do? What does it look like? In Ephesians 5:25-32, the apostle Paul answers this question by setting forth four marks of a godly husband. Husbands are to love their wives with a love that is sacrificial (v. 25), a love that is sanctifying (vv. 26-27), a love that is sensitive (vv. 28-31), and a love that is symbolic (v.32).
A Love that is Sacrificial
The apostle begins by calling husbands to love their wives with a love that is sacrificial, and we see this in verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” As you consider the need to love your wife, and you ask the question of what this love is to look like, Paul holds up the example of Christ and says: Your love is to be like His love. Your love for your wife is to look like Christ’s love for the church. And what did Christ’s love look like? He “gave Himself up for her.” Christ’s love for the church was a sacrificial love in which He voluntarily gave Himself. He sacrificed Himself. He handed Himself over to die on the cross on behalf of her. In verse 25 we find that true love
is of the unconditional giving of oneself for the benefit or well-being of another person. Love, in other words, will cost you something, because to love is to give; to love is to sacrifice; to love is to lay your life down.
In John Steinbeck’s book East of Eden, there is a scene in which Cyrus is taking a walk with his son Adam, who is about to go off to fight in World War I. Cyrus is telling him about what it means to be a soldier, and at one point he says this: From the day of a child’s birth he is taught by every circumstance, by every law and rule and right, to protect his own life. He starts with that great instinct, and everything confirms it. And then he [becomes] a soldier and he must learn to violate all of this— he must learn…to put himself in the way of losing his own life….
Something similar happens when a man becomes a husband. From the start of his life, a man’s nature and instinct is to think of himself and live for himself. And yet when he gets married he must learn to violate this instinct—he must learn to lay down his life for his wife…to read more of this excellent article, click Godly Husband